Romance Scammers

I had heard about these scams going on and wondered how gullible a person had to be to be sucked into the scam, but I have to tell you, I've found out that it's very easy!

The scammer takes on the identity of a perfect professional person, nice picture in place and nice but sparce details about themselves but what is paramount is that they wish to meet a person who just wants to be loved and they are very quick to commit to a life long relationship.

But how is one to protect themselves from these scammers? How does one identify them?

First thing is that most of them can't spell for toffee! It's strange but when a so-called 'engineer can't even speall 'sweet' or 'gorgeous' or 'beautiful' then there is a problem there, no so?

Second, they are very quick to want to get you off the dating site or professional site on which you met, they either want you on hotmail, yahoo or this new email site ymail. Be very careful when someone states that they feel that you'd be able to chat better with them on your personal email.

Third, ok, you've moved to private email, they start to flood you with a lot of questions, asking about your life, your job etc. Please don't be flattered that they are interested in you. they are just trying to source you out, see if you're worth playing the game with.

Fourth, they are very quick to suggest and agree to any plans of long term relationship. They use a lot of 'baby, sweetie, darling' and all that jazz that we unfortunately love to hear from the person we think loves us most. My dear, wake up, it's all a lie!

Fifth, once you're well hooked, that's when the demands start and note, they have international numbers, so they will have a number say like T-mobile which offers reduced tariff for roaming but if they claim to be white, they will never have a webcam, they will always claim a reason why it's not working but they will ask you to put yours on and if you're not careful, you may fall into strip teasing for a group of perverts! (This is why having Jesus in your life makes the difference!) LOL

Then, if they manage to call you, they usually have a jacked up accent which they claim is American or British, don't fall for this, always ask questions and you'll find that their phone suddenly runs out of cedit and so they can't call. They try everything to get you to call them so that their scam is cost effective.

So what else can you do to be sure that you're not talking to some fake ass scammer? Go online, use their instrument against them! Check their names, email addresses and you'll be sure to discover that they come up on some scammer website, try and find out details from them; things like schools, degrees, simple colloquialisms of whatever culture they claim to be from and insist they come online with a webcam. They usually either run off or stupidly keep trying to get you to fall in line. Now that's when you have my permission to go on the last thing.

Go crazy, gangsta mad on them; curse them to the tenth generation, tell them how their scam will send them to jail! However, that is the omota way (forgive me, I'm still trying to work my issues out) The Lord help me.

The better way, is to get them arrested. Now I haven't been able to find out what to do yet, I'm asking for advice from professionals who deal with these guys from hell because I too, have an 'American'(scammer) on my hands and I'm hoping I can 'darling, dear' him into jail. So keep an eye out for part two.

Here is a taste of what damage these guys can do if you don't protect yourself. However, before seeing that clip, here is a taste of my omota version on one of such scammers who came on my radar. Learn from this

From: Me
To: Tokunbo Williams (williamstokunbo@ymail.com) The Scammer
Re: Re: hello gorgeous!

Chei!


Dem take una curse me?! Another scammer! Look I be original omo Eko! You should be ashamed of yourself! Using another person's picture to be lying and cheating people. God will punish you and your entire family! You sorry excuse for a human being!

You know how to hack computers and steal people's identities and yet you can't spell for toffee! Olodo! Ode! Oponu! You've seen mugu that you'll now mail and say your stupid mother is dying. God punish your mother and father, idiot!

You will never prosper, all your family will be destroyed. May you and all your sisters, aunties and female cousins suffer pain 1000 times worse than the one you cause women with your jibiti! 419 buruku! Ko ni da fun gbogbo idile e, Alakori, olodo rabata!

If you mail me again, may amadioha thunder your head! It will never ever be good for you, you evil beast. Hello gorgeous ko, o ti ri didirin abi? Ole oshi!

Gerrout off my mail jo! Iwo eniti o ni da fun mo lailai yi, ma ko ori buruku e bami jo!

PS: and yes I've just schooled you in how to abuse someone and STILL BE ABLE TO SPELL! OLODO OSHI!


From: Tokunbo Williams (williamstokunbo@ymail.com)
To: Me
Sent: 13 August 2012 10:38:23

Gdmrng Abi,

How re you doing,i trust ur good n all is well with you? And thanx for getting back to me,i really do apreciate you. And hows ur family,i trust everyone is fine.When i call,i'll tell you anything u want to know about what u asked me but above all am a loving person to be with n i hope ure the same., And dont worry about ur no,i will definately keep it safe.......What i belive av gotton myself into is actually what i love n av been serching for n i thank God av found you....lol. I will call u soon,take care of urself n av a blessed day.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


From: Me

Sent: 13 August 2012 00:46:48

To: williamstokunbo@ymail.com

Hello Tokunbo,

It was nice to read back from you. I hate it myself when I've put out there and the person doesn't bother to respond to me.

Its weird how many names that site seems to have. It really opens up avenues for confusion. Well tell me about yourself,what you're up to, what you do, you know stuff people say to each other when they first meet. I will give you my number and you can call me when you're ready. But just a note of warning, I don't do early mornings, call me before 10am at your own peril!

So you my number wisely and carefully. Lol, I'm sure you're already wondering what you got yourself into.

Well buckle up and you'll find out! 07712346575(Obviously not my real number)

Abi  (Try to keep your first letter as real and chatty as possible)


From: Tokunbo Williams (williamstokunbo@ymail.com)

Sent: 11 August 2012 17:03:27

To: Me

How are you doing...i trust you are good n all is well with you n family. Thanx for leaving me ur email adress on just black singles,its really thotful of you,i would av been hurt if i av never heard from u again. I hope things re well with u generally n i guess ure enjoyin d wkend or do you work wkends? And hows ur family,i hope everyone is fine. I really do love to hear from you,talk to you n even meet up sometimes if its ok with you. My no is 07448953762,i hope u will call me n if u cant will u kindly send me ur no n i will call you....Hoping to hear from you soon,take care of urself n av a blessed day. Thots Tokunbo williams xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

This guy didn't even try to give himself a chance but more fool him, not so? Well here's the video and after that I tell you: Go with God!   http://youtu.be/UwqdrB5AeOQ

Last post for 2011, onward to 2012. Thanks for the love

This is the true life story that I had written for O'Naturals, its a 2 parter so they should be having the 2nd part of it out before 2012, so you can go and read it there. But while I have this borrowed time, I'm posting this to you and also saying 'thank you for reading, for commenting, for believing in me, for praying for me, with me, for being there every single step of the way, silently and publicly. God bless you and Have a very happy New Year.

I on a personal front, hope to have a new laptop, write more, publish a book (this has been a 3 year dream, touch wood for 2012) travel, fall in love? (I'm open to offers) lol and live and laugh more. In all my pain, distress and fears, God has been so good to me. He's given me family,good friends, a best friend & sister, an outlet to express the gift He gave me. I am so blessed and I am certain that I'm on my journey to being pain free, truly alive and well. Here's to more poetry, stories, laughter and life. Happy New Year and God bless you real good.

Hairdos: Mother, Grandmother and I


I’m sitting on my little stool, in the living room, my heart beating just a little bit faster as the long hand on the clock creeps up. Somehow my armpits feel a bit wetter. I know that the door will creak open and ... and the door starts to creak open. I shoot off my stool and race into my parents bedroom and go under the bed. I had been planning this hideout for a while and I was certain that this time I won’t be caught.


"Tope"! My name rings out and I unknowingly shiver. "Why must we do this every time? I know you are hiding somewhere and sooner than later, I will find you, so why not come out and just let’s be done?" The voice fades off and I start to relax but the voice comes closer. "Honestly I don’t have time for this. When I catch you, it will not be funny!" The voice bounces all over the room until it bends over to my hideout and a hand shoots out and grabs me by the leg. Grandmother pulls me to the living room while rivulets of tears fall down my face.

Going to the hairdressers always took so long and ended unsuccessfully because I have a tender head. It had become a bi-weekly nuisance. One day, my mother snapped when she came and found me screaming like a sacrificial lamb while being held down by one hairdresser as the other tried to weave my hair. She paid the woman and marched me into her car with my hair uncompleted.

We got home and my Grandmother, who lived with us, looked at us with a smirk on her face. Mother and her were not the best of friends and mother tried her best to keep out of Grandmother's way. "So you have given up?" Grandmother beamed at my mother. My mom shook her head and said forlornly "I don’t know what to do. Maybe I should just shave her hair." I trembled at the thought and whined a big "no". I knew what happened to children who had shaved hair in my school. Everyone said they had head lice and teased them with the ‘gorimapa’ song.

Grandmother came to my rescue. ‘Let me finish it up for her and I’ll do her hair from now on. At least you will not have spend my son’s money needlessly." Grandmother ended somewhat triumphantly. Mom looked at her and let out what sounded like a grunt. I followed Grandmother willingly. Grandmother sat on the big chair and I sat on my little stool in between her legs.

Grandmother’s fat thighs suddenly clamped down on both sides of my head; holding my head so tight, I couldn’t hear anything. Her hands came over my head and like little needles poking at my head. It took me a while to find my voice because I was in shock. She finished up the weave just as my mother came out to see what was going on. "There! You see! Straightforward hairdressing. Done. All that money wasted when you had a true professional at home. And you, shut up!" Grandmother pushed me towards my mother, stood up re-tying her big wrapper around her waist and walked out of the living room.

"You see what you’ve caused now? Hmm? Mama will have something to say anytime you have to get your hair done! Left to me, I’ll just shave your head!" Mother said as she pulled me to herself and wiped my face. At that, I shouted "no". She echoed my voice. "No?! But every time you get your hair done, it is drama and disaster. What am I to do with you?" She scooped me in her arms and carried me into the bedroom where she gave me some paracetamol for my rising temperature and a cold orange Tree-Top drink. So I lay in my mother’s arms wondering how the next hairdressing time with my Grandmother was going to be. I didn’t have long to wait, it was two weeks coming.

My Fight with Fibromyalgia

I have promised some time ago that I was going to explain the condition I'm dealing with but was really hindered by ill health, the lack of a computer and time, but today my church The Bridge kindly let me use their computer in their office so I'll be putting all I know. Now, please note that it took the doctors about 2 years to diagnose me and I had previous underlying conditions like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and while I'm dealing with the condition now and making the best of it through Nutrition, if you want, you can go to the site and read up on it.

I started by being very tired for no good reason. Typically, I am a very strong person physically; I put it down to going to a Military School but uncharacteristically, I got very tired and went into almost shut down mode. Then shortly after that, I developed a severe headache that did like my head would split! As a typical Nigerian, I called home and started praying. My GP couldn't find anything wrong but I was in agony and because it came and went, some friends thought I put it on, just to get off work, but while I have my moments like everyone, the pain was very real and I was prescribed steroids but they didn't help.

Shortly after that, just when I thought it couldn't get worse, I started having severe pain in my joints and my body would heat up and I had some swellings and no matter what test I did  and believe me, I did them all, nothing could be found. The only explanation my GP could come up with was that it was a blood condition I inherited from my dad-Alpha thalessimia, however, it wasn't enough to create the type of symptoms I was displaying.

Well, I can tell you, it didn't get better. I went out so many times for healing prayers, I went to a Chinese pratitioner to seek help, some people started avoiding me, so many rumours were passed around about me. I was living in hell. I couldn't tell my folks back home the severity of my conditions because I didn't want to alarm them but I can tell you, there were times I thought death had to be better than what I was going through. I was in pain all the time, my bones ached, my nerves were super sensitive, I was tired all the time and I had no strength as before, sometimes, I struggled to even dress myself!

I love to cook but I couldn't even cook for myself. I remember one particular day where the pain was so bad, my body was on fire, I had a raging headache, I could barely make it out of bed to go to the loo. No one was around as I lived alone; and one thing Fibromyalgia does for you is it lets you know who your friends truly are, I was hungry but could do nothing about it until my friend and angel, Laura came over after work and she made me something. I had to sleep with my door open as I wasn't certain if I could get to the door.

Let me tell you one truth, there is no way one will be in that situation especially living alone and not fall into depression and it is dark and ugly, so I truly sympatize with anyone who is going through depression. However, after pressing on, I got a diagnosis early this year in February. Though it didn't take away the pain, at least it had a name and it wasn't some curse put on me because of my many sins ( someone actually told me this-to my face!) and once I knew what it was, I started learning about it and finding ways to deal with it.

I would love to say that I found a cure and its all gone and life is great but that is not true. It's a battle I face daily but I'm facing it. After my diagnosis, I informed my GP and my office and I started treatment. I joined a support group and a singing group at church because one of the ways to feel better is to do what you love as it releases happy hormones and I love to sing especially hymns. My symptoms have gotten worse in recent times as I am now falling more but I believe its just a blip and I'll overcome that. I have also started learning how to tailor my diet to help make life more manageable.

Now note, fibromyalgia is incurable according to the consultants and my entire lifestyle has been adjusted to accomodate, for now, this condition but I believe that one day I will be drug free and I will be able to be the strong Abi again. For now, I  try to live life to its fullest each day, I want to be the happiest, fun filled person people ever meet and I personally have good reason for that, I have a personal relationship with Christ and I've got a joy and peace that nothing can take away now. Yes I know I may have to get into that conversation when I meet the man but I know that he will see the spirited firecracker under the frail skin and fall in love with that. And yes! I will love hard, laugh heartly and be throughly delighted with life.

Do I think I am unfortunate, honestly , no, however I know, I solemnly have to consider this condition within my life but it has opened my eyes to the advantage of good health above money and frills. I enjoy life more, I'm more willing to try things, I am determined to finish whatever I start; it has taken me almost 2 and a half hours to type this as my hands hurt with nerve ache but you're reading it thanks to a massage ball because I finished it and if that is not a sign of one who will overcome then I don't know what is!

This is the life I'm living and what a cracking* life that is!

*cracking in Bolton parlance means brilliant

HairStory

Hello people, remember that I told you about my guest slot on O'Naturals, where once a month, I contribute a story or poem to their site. Well in case, you couldn't get to their page. Here again is the story in its full form. I hope you enjoy and I hope to be able to sort out my insurance and buy a comp soon.

By the Way- Fibromyalgia is a terror but I refuse to be beaten. I will overcome. I fell down in two places this last week and one was in public- my local bank¬ no need to say, it will be in a while before I go back there. Well keep me in your prayers and I'll be telling you more and putting more poetry up. God bless


HAIRSTORY

Time had passed and I knew I wasn’t as easy to recognise but as soon as he saw me, Deji knew it was me. The first thing he did, after spinning me around, was reach for my hair. 'You changed it!' he exclaimed, half accusingly and half incredulously. He knew how much I cared for my hair in the past and how much money he had personally paid for its upkeep. I smiled and shrugged. My hair tossed a bit in the breeze. 'Well, I like it much better this way’ I replied. We talked some more, exchanged numbers and I left in a cab, leaving him standing, waving at me.


Deji and I dated while I was at university. He was a year ahead of me and from the first day he set eyes on me, he wouldn't let me be. He told me he was certain that I was an angel sent to him from ‘Jah’ above. At first, he was frustrating but I soon started laughing at his words and that’s how we ended up spending the day together. Before he left he asked me if I would go out with him and I asked him how he knew I was ‘his angel’. He said that when I walked in and light shone on my head, he just knew.


I didn’t know whether to laugh or choke! I told him that I had just had my hair done with a 100% human hair weave and it was most likely the gloss from the oil that caught the light. He shook his head and said it didn’t matter, I was still his angel and with that he left. From then on, he visited me frequently, took me out for lunches, ate in my room when I cooked and helped me with some of my assignments. And so we just sort of fell into being a couple.


On one occasion, I had just put in an 18 inch Brazilian hair weave when Deji came over. Although my head felt tight, I looked so good. Deji fell in love with it and could not stop stroking my hair. It would have been a romantic time together if he hadn't caught his fingers in my hair, while he was stroking it, and that hurt terribly. He tried to turn around and sat on some of my weave while I was trying to move and the pain actually brought tears to my eyes! It was disastrous. This was to be the script for the majority of our intimate moments. My hairstyles seemed to be causing us hassles and soon enough we started arguing. I got very angry and kicked him out of my room when he suggested me having less extended tresses. Deji tried to get back with me, to be fair, and I did try to make it work but my hair got in the way.


We broke up, Deji graduated and I never heard from him again. I finished school, traveled to the US for my Masters, my hair went natural and I finally got dredlocs. I had been living in the States for five years when I bumped into Deji again. My phone rang as I got out of the cab. It was Deji. He said it was wonderful to see me again and that I looked amazing with my hair. I smiled to myself and said it was good to see him too. He asked if we could meet up for lunch, we fixed a date and he hung up.


From one lunch date to several other lunch dates and then dinner dates. We realized we were still single and Deji asked me to be his girlfriend. We laughed so much and found a new rhythm with each other. Deji said it was like he was with a different woman and it made him happy.


I look into the mirror to check my reflection one last time. Deji’ is standing behind me and he bends to sink his nose and hands into my hair. I don’t flinch or wave him away. I lean back and remind him we’ll be late for the reception. He smiles at me through the mirror and says the guests can wait; after all we are the bride and groom.

Edited by Omozo Ehigie

My Guest Slot Starts Now

Remember I told you about my guest slot on O'Naturals. Well here's my opening entry. I hope you enjoy it. Sorry about my late posting. I hope I can solve this posting wahala soon. Much love

Work in Progress- Extract from 'Up from the Melon Road'

I've been writing this semi -autobiographical book for years now. Still looking for a publisher. Also been very ill, computer's gone kaput now and I'm in the library. I'd love to hear what you've got to say on this and others to come. God bless




Sunlight streaked in; I’m lying flat on my back, just as I had for the past two weeks. I breathe in deep and feel my shoulder blades contract with the unfamiliar action; I’ve been breathing lightly for so long, it felt unnatural to breathe in deeply, I feel twinges, but it feels so good. I do it again and breathe in real deep.


I rise up slowly throwing the covers from my body gently and I put my feet down on the lukewarm rug, I feel a bit dizzy but its okay. Unbuttoning my pajamas shirt slowly, and standing up I know it’s time. I have avoided facing this demon for so long but now I was ready to embrace it because I knew it was good for me. At last, I see the way to be free. I had prepared for it the night before, getting the long mirror reinstalled into my bedroom, so moving for the first time in two weeks, I was ready to see.

I walk to the mirror, looking into my own eyes, I dread to look elsewhere but I’m also excited. Slowly I raise up my hands and place them gently on them, barely touching and then I palm them; they are so soft and feel strange, so reduced, I circle them, then move up to the nibs and slowly pass my thumbs over them, I think my back groans.

I think I feel pain, but I’m not sure. I feel light all over for the first time, then I look down at them in the mirror and away and at them in the mirror and away and at them for real, they are perfect, round and they are small. The water surges behind my eyes but I blink them away fast, but the waves of a thirty-year pain are hard to dam (ignore). Slowly, then rapidly my tears fall on my naked body and I’m standing in front of a mirror ad I’m raining tears, but I’m not sad, I am very happy, very exhilarated, very, very light.

Interview with O'Naturals

Hello friends,

Just a quick plug for me and my friend. I have been interviewed about my hair on this wonderful blog and I have also been taken on as a guest blogger. I am so excited as it is the first time this year I'll be doing this again. I had thought I had lost my mojo, its amazing what falling in love does for you!

please go the site and read and comment, yes its about hair but I think its interesting.

Cheers and God bless xx

Love of a special kind

Now I'm no romantic, ok maybe a little bit of a romantic. I like being treated nice like the next girl, being thought of as special. I like to think that a guy somewhere has me on his mind, thinking of ways to make me happy. I have been praying for quite sometime about who my life partner is and how we'll meet and what not and as the reality of it draws closer, I really realise how scared I am of making that commitment, of taking that step and shutting the door on life as I've always known it and open the door to a new life, a new philisophy.

I realise that I can't just say this is how I want my marriage to be and expect everything to fall in line. It is going to be meeting someone who's from a different background and lifestyle and together we lay our dreams down and work together towards us. In this, there's no me, just us. All my notions, beliefs etc have to aligned and adjusted and questioned and I have to answer questions like why,when and how.

I have to think realistically about the future, look at a man and really question if I want him to be the father of my children, the one I sleep next to at night, the one I make love with, look across the table when we're eating, grow old with, etc and it scares me crazy because whether I like it or not, I will have to make that decision and say 'yes, I will marry you' and 'I do'. this is some real scary stuff.

Then I went on Myne Whitman's blog to read whatever new stuff she's written and I came across the StoryCorps video and came across a real love story. I sat and wept like a child for some good minutes. I normally don't cry, but I did because I wondered if anyone would feel the same or something akin to the love between Danny and Annie, I wondered if I would be able to handle such a love and not feel overwhelmed or unworthy of such love. Then I calmed down.

Now, I am a praying woman but I've had to ask God how to pray for my partner, how to know he's the one that will be my shelter in life's storms, the one I can look at thirty years in and say without a doubt that given the chance I would do it earlier and again. I have asked God, I can't say I've gotten an answer yet but I'll keep looking to the skies, waiting for my answer. However, I've come to find out that it is true what the sages say; that love comes to you when you least expect it, when you're not looking, it tiptoes on you and taps you on the shoulder. Crazy thing but yes it is so true.

Please enjoy this video of Danny and Annie and may you find love that stays through the ages, a heart that holds you tight and calls you precious, arms that assure you that their main purpose from that moment on is to hold you, protect you and love you endlessly through time. God bless and take care.

FOOLISH THINGS

Its been a while that I had come to the blog. My computer getting damaged and ill health didn't help but I'm grateful to God that I've got progress now. I have been writing , stories mainly, ramblings from a fevered brain addled with opiate based medication, so many exciting things there.

This is an old poem but one of my favourites, so I want to share it as I slowly return to the land from which I grew fat. I have found one certain truth in these past months. I write because I must; its life, air and living to me. Even when I laid down with painful bones, gnarled fingers and fevered breath. I still picked up my phone and recorded thoughts and stories and songs. It would not leave me, not give me a moment's rest until every last word had been stored for transcribing.

So as I start anew, enjoy the strains of my longing heart years ago and maybe your heart is in this place, don't despair, believe it or not, this too shall pass. You will live.

God bless x



FOOLISH THINGS

You came and conquered me

You conquered me

A strand of hair on my pillow

A note paper with scribbles

A fading picture of a romantic place

These foolish things


A half-empty cologne bottle

A broken pencil

A worn out T-shirt

A chipped glass

These foolish things


A memory, a smile

A song, a laugh

You do these things to me

These foolish things

So foolish things

Remind me of you

And conquer me

Nevermind

March is the month of moving on. Its the time to get into things and live, so many poems that will be on this month will be in that trend. Wishing you progress as you go on.


Nevermind


You stare down into your glass

Willing your stubborn tears could

Flow down, mingle with your wine

Brand you by one assured name:

A fool. As you watch my back leave

Held gently by arms which could

Have been yours.



I’m not looking back

There’s nothing to see, I am

Nestling in the rest of him who

Put me first. Why soil such clean

Ecstasy with reminders of how

I had to stand further back in line

Of your life, while you lived rapturously

Assuming I would always be on stand by

However...



When I stared into my glass of gloom

Another wiped my tears, whispered in

My ears, pulled me away to a place where

I always come first.


I wonder why I waited around so long

What exactly was it I was hoping for?

Today we meet again, when you

Realised I had left that stagnant line and

You suddenly realised you could have

Been the one, I nestled close to

With your sodden eyes, I am

Not enticed. Hope you enjoy your wine.

Life, Leisure and Questions about Love

First published on the 24th May 2009




What is it about life that makes us keep going on for another day, a hope for a brighter day, a better day? What is it that makes a man and a woman fall so deeply in love? What makes thenm fall out of it? Why is love always equated to an imbalance (falling in love) a mental health condition (madly in love, love sick, crazy in love) or a state of incoherence (I love you, I am in love with you, I love you) (need I say more?)

How do you keep love and sex apart? Is love between two people possible without an expression in sex (or for the delicate at heart- love making)? can two people who really love each other and want to be together really stay in a room without touching or ending up in bed, the side of the wall, on a chair, clothes off or on (take your pick) when it all goes tits up, where do all those emotions go? What do they leave behind?

What makes us? Breaks us? Defines us? Redesigns us? What makes us aware of whom we are, what our values are, what our core beliefs are? What makes others aware of us?

What is this life if full of care? (Thanks Hillarae Belloc' Leisure'-I hope I got the name right) do we have time to stand and stare?

Hmmm, there goes a butterfly.....



In between my breasts

is a fire stoking quietly.

Awaiting cool fingers, wander near

Stroke as a match, set all ablaze.


In between my breasts

is a river, flowing wild.

Inviting a plunge into depths

rediscovering in approaching climax.


In between my breasts

is a mystery, holding truth.

Of all that men, being beasts; beasts, human;

Human in the illusion of gods.

Eden- the continued story

These are more thoughts on the sides of love:

First published on the 17th of April 2010

This poem is put here at the request of my dear friend. It is a missing link in the 'Contrast of a Telling Heart' note.


Love like life is a gamble. The best we can hope for is to hold a good set of cards and play a good game.

God help us all.


Eden


I don’t know, how despite
the signs I married him.


Osa bo le gbe mi
Se mi bo se bami

His love is tight.

I stay here by decree

of his telling glance. His

warning touch of perceived endearment.

I daren’t move, gritted smiles.

Laughter torn from deep in my soul,

laughter,which follows the mandate:

Mirth or pain.


Osa bo le gbe mi
Se mi bo se bami

His love is hard.

His soft word placed in my twisted ear,

‘This hurts me more than you’

I’m a child, waiting certain punishment, then

the apologies flood my lap, as my

punisher blames regretful tears on me.

My fault for being not so right

‘See what I make him do?’

Osa bo le gbe mi
Se mi bo se bami


His love is deep.

Colours banned from my palette

Gold is sallow, silver is crass

The query of who’s mating dance I wish to attract

makes the peace of drabness comforting.

I am a bird of paradise made for one

garden, the flaming swords are for my protection.

Does it matter that my feathers droop and fall?

Osa bo le gbe mi
Se mi bo se bami


His love is constant.

Vows are taken seriously here,

there is only one god in this house and he's not above.

I walk and hear clinking gently

reminding me of no escape.

I am a gold-ringed prisoner.

This union is till death, accident-prone,

my sure feet unsteady, I will walk into

another doorknob, trip down another stair.

I am certain of this truth.


Osa bo le gbe mi
J’owo se mi bo se bami

His love will be death.

I don’t know, why despite
the signs I married him.

Contrast of A Telling Heart

There are so many sides to love, here are two ways I've explored. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

First published 29th March 2010


Many things happen in a girl's life and boy! Have I had my drama? I'm back to not sleeping again, as you can see by the time (please pray with me) not being able to eat and this is serious ( I mean I went to a £9 chinese buffett and I was looking at the food like schwepps, even though I was hungry fa!) so it is serious and just general fatigue (I've been in my 'Lord change my life for good' status for so long, I need a new song)

Well in all that jambolaya, I've been writing! (At least one thing stays constant!) And here are two poems. I wish to hear what you have to say about them. I performed them at the Tower of Babel organised by CAN but I can't seem to be able to upload the video. As soon as I can, I will. I also want to give a massive shout out to a friend and brother Lookman Sanusi-Thank you for the honest edit in The Recall. I am grateful that you don't look at my toes; I must learn to walk in sturdy shoes. Thank you.



The Recall


Iwo ko, emi ni
Emi ni, iwo ko
Iwo ni, mo ni, mo fe
Ni okan mi yan.


The recall of your skin

On my memory is loud.

I haven’t met you but

I see you.

The image of your eyes

Beckon me to pleasant dreams.

I don’t know you but

I see you. I see you so well.


Iwo ko, emi ni
Emi ni, iwo ko
Iwo ni, mo ni, mo fe
Ni okan mi yan.


Your lips caress the edge

Of my mind as I imagine

The ecstatic response my

Sighs will convey. Your hands

Teasing the secret thoughts in

dark recesses.

I’ve never touched you but

I feel you ease in, deep.


Iwo ko, emi ni
Emi ni, iwo ko
Iwo ni, mo ni, mo’fe
Ni okan mi yan.


In the muted lights of my desire

I will picture you as I deem fit

You will be my blaze of genius

I, your restless artist.

You will be

Known, seen

Touched, felt

Be.


Iwo ni, emi ko
Emi ko, iwo ni
Mo’ni, mo’fe, mo’yan
Ni okan mi yan.



Abuse


Just so you know...


Eti kan, Oju kan, Owo kan, Apa kan
Atori ta fina ‘yale, wa l’orule fun ‘yawo


He took me like pieces of barbecued beef

Slapped me within the thighs of his bread

Plunged his salami in.

Squeezed his mustard on my weakened, marinated flesh

Clamped me tight between his fleshy hands and bit.

I oozed, fought in rebellion

Toughened gristle hiding within his teeth to prove a point.

There are many ways to have a woman but

I’m not telling.


Eti kan, Oju kan, Owo kan, Apa kan
Atori ta fina ‘yale, wa l’orule fun ‘yawo


He took me like slivers of onion rings

Crushed me in the creases of his grater

Stirred his pickle in

Drizzled his olive oil on my roughened, coarse skin

I clumped together, denying him his desire

Maybe I would be left alone,

Surviving this night, escape perhaps, finding help

Tell all.


Eti kan, Oju kan, Owo kan, Apa kan
Atori ta fina ‘yale, wa l’orule fun ‘yawo

What This Woman Wants

This is a follow on poem to the previous poem. Wishing you light, hope and love. God bless x

First published 7th of September 2010


Safety



All I want is to be

a woman.

Sweet mud sucking between my toes

Grass, itchy fresh tickling my back

Strong touch holding yet

Letting me free-fall as my head

Tilts back, eyes squint in the sun

My eyes watching God.


I want to be a woman

Subtle sand seeking secret crevices

Wind tugging my hair, teasing

Asking me to join in play as

Rain peppers my skin with wet kisses

Showing me how love can

Come down as I lift my lips, my eyes

Firmly opened watching God.


All I really want is to be

A woman.

Jumping in the river as currents

Envelope me with wet desires

Tendrils, trail around me, caress

Softly , set me on fire

Call me to the deep, asking

To let go, be free as the waters

Bathe me , my eyes gaze to the

Sky tenderly watching God.


I just want to be a woman

Sunrays warming my back as

Sweet salty trails run from

My back down my legs. Intimate

Marking its way down territory

Wind blowing coolness as salt dries

On my upper lip. I lick, tasting

Love, life. A bird flies with cry,

Smiling , I gaze up, the clouds

Sanguine in the sky and there’s

God’s eyes watching me.

Whispers

Does the lady protest too much? I don't know, I'm no lady! Just a question though. How does one really know?

First published on Wednesday, 11 February 2009

Misread things and February



Again, the month where we fall, get out, think and hate love is here and already I'm sick of it! Why one month has to have so many emotions tied to it is beyond me but since I'm slowly converting to the whole idea of this love thing. (I have good examples around me...its rubbing off) here's something for people enjoying the magical experience of that crazy thing called love. Note though, that I put my personal abilistic spin on it.



Sunset.


In your shadow

Comfort looms

I am wrapped tight like

Kola nut in shell.


Fingers trace outline of

Lips, eyes, lashes, dimple

I stick a tip in, tickle;

Bubble of laugh from

my stomach

Tumbles up into

my chest

Out of my throat. I. Am. So. Happy.


Sunrise.


In the cast

Shelter stays

I am cocooned like

Fish in deep water, there is safety

Freedom at once.


Lips graze then

Part and tongue flicks

Picks up salt, grit

Familiarity

Pucker, press, imbibe essence of

Deliciousness, which is you.

In here

I am whole, found,

alive, true, sane, complete

filled, loved.


Yours.

I absolutely love this song and I think it fits with the poem-feel free to enjoy!

When Love Comes

I'm using the term 'Love' here very loosly since I'm not a person who does PDA (Public Displays of Affection) well. I always want to slap people who just do all that kissy kissy stuff in public! Call me a prude, but I believe that love-(I think my last post settled what we call love, or rather what I call love) should be a private, beautiful thing, it should be graceful, gentle and tender, something people consider a priviledge to see. However, what do I know? Maybe I'll be one of those irritating women who coil around their men at every given opportunity, trying to stamp their lip imprint on him so that everyone would know, he belongs to her! I shudder at the thought.

First published on Thursday, 27 November 2008


If- More Sham Lyrics



I'm still going on the theory of what love might feel like, so here's another poem.

PS I'm working on the hate theory too, just must get the emotion right. Cheers!



Breathe


I am tucking my nose

into that indent your head

made on my pillow,

catching every scent of your skin.



Its wood, grass, wind, rain

mud. Fresh, clean, spicy.

How I adore your smell!



I inhale deep, wrap myself in

the towel you left, lie

half asleep, wondering if you

have your face tucked in

something of mine,

remembering.

Whatever Love Is

Really...what's love got to do it? This is a question noone's really answered you know? I've heard so many definitions of relationships and one thing remains constant, especially those who have been married more than a year, 'its not about the emotion of love but the discipline'! This didn't make any sense at all initially but a friend kindly broke it down-it means all that mushy gushy thing you feel will not stand the test of farts, stretchmarks, flaccid "nkannkans",unreasonable behaviour, bad habits, hairy chins, skidmarks, body odour, mouth odour, receding hairlines,inappropriate scratching of intimate areas in public, picking the nose, sickness,disease (haba!), not in the mood, complete loss of libido, lack of money excetera, excetera.
What will stand is that two people like themselves enough to say through all the above and more, I have decided to stay by you, with you and love you.

Love is not soft, rose tinted and rainbow hued! It is hard, tough and constantly forgiving, it is graceful, humble and in many cases beyond belief. So I ask those who are 'celebrating' their love and valentine; really...what's love got to do with it?

First published on Wednesday, 19 November 2008


If- Tales of When Love Strikes- Sham Lyrics




The question has always been 'when love hits you what will you write?' I have had the good fortune to come close to the emotion, never been a true disciple, but a good acquintance.

I would like to believe that love and I have gone beyond mere shaking of hands and nodding across the street.

I think we have reached the stage where, we stop and say hello, give each other the outstanding penny at the check out point in the supermarket, we know the area where the other lives and stuff like that, we are not close but we're not far either.

So I give you these tales, tales of what I would write if love struck, I call them Sham Lyrics.



This thing is deep, rich

It makes like butter, warm places

Happy feelings joy and fear

At the same time, unequal measures

Smiling, fearing, it is all

Heady and I love it.



This thing is dark, light

It makes like red wine, chocolate

Those nice things that make you smile

And your pockets bleed

It is beautiful, radiant

Disturbing, cheesy

Not me, all of me.



It is a misty place

I am beckoned to its quiet edge.

There are no promises, no theatrics

Just a simple ‘come’

This invitation is potent

Enticing. I am of two minds yet

I find my toes tingling in eager

Response, gently levitating to follow.

Wanting Needs

Valentine's Day is very nearly upon us and is there much love in the air? Restained emotions abound this year I think, every flamboyant thought being thrown into uproars of people seeking political freedom. I think this is good, I know this is good, no one should be oppressed for whatever reason, no people should be used as political pawns to suit a nation's or leader's greed.

However, enough of that slight steam and back to the issue of l'amour (God help us!). I have no investments in this except my words, words which protest attimes and which cave in some other time. So in the spirit of February, Here goes for broke...

first published on Thursday, 15 October 2009


Besetting



A) Skin.

Smooth builds into

Rough, melds into dips

Depths, curves.

Lovely. Musk, sweat

Primal coma, secret

Places invoke, invite.



B) Hair.

Flutter, flick

Lightly sting, caress

Heavy glides over.

Sheen. Digging in,

Drag lightly, let

Pain collide by pleasure.



C) Caves.

Moist promise warmth

Strength plunge deep

Dark, pan-ic, still

Stroke, stride, slide

Call plump, plunde

Sink. Lift. off.

Wisps and Dreams

Going on the love theme, it is clear that the average person's mind is a bit lke a maze, hard to negotiate and you eventually get lost somewhere, somehow. Now I've been called both difficult and easy to please. I guess I have my days. There are so many rules to live by, either rules made by yourself, society or family. They are hard to break loose from and sometimes a dangerous noose by which we tie up ourselves and hereby prevent ourselves from moving-anywhere!

I'm not too certain where I'm going with this as I'm still trying to process it in my own head, but this is not the first time, I've been here, so there is a certain assurance that I'll walk this maze again.

First published 26th January 2007

It took me a while to decide what I was going to put in my journal, I was meant to write in it sometime ago but I kept on putting it aside ‘cos the flow hadn't come but then I thought (oh, oh) wait a minute, I’m a writer ke! (Yes ke!) Why not put up some of my work (so that you people who think 'does she think she's Wole Soyinka?' would know that I’m chasing his pen).

So here is a little something, something, a poem, written for that imaginary guy who warms my bed, loves my body (love handles, turkey wings, buddah belly and all, ah yes and corns) loves my mind and wants to spend his days and nights with me irrespective of my moods (ok, I know I’m asking for a lot but hey! a gal can dream)


'how my love is to be'


Not for me the clichés of the past

They taste bitter at the back of me throat

I don't want my romance in

The sweet by and by

I want my love, nay, I need my love, now!


I want to snatch my kisses

From his lips like apples from a tree

I want to look across a room and

Stamp my signature on him

Like a branded cow



I want to pull myself into

His arms like a whirlwind in a barn

To be wild, wicked and free

Not for me the clichés of the past

They taste really bitter at the back of me throat.


Instead my love ...


Draw me
Draw me into this union
Where your arms wrap
And I am safe

Where your lips smooth
And I am whole

Where your eyes seep
And I am reborn

Where your heart is
And I am loved

Draw me into this union
This sweet, wholesome union

my loneliness leaving into the night
I becoming 'some' of a body's
Yours .

Divorced Intentions

Do you sometimes wish you could hear God's voice directly? I know I do. I'm not afraid for I don't think He'll use the big boom voice of the Ten Commandments, but rather the still small voice of calming Elijah's personal storm. In matters of the heart, there's no greater time, I need to hear His voice than then.

For we humans are SO complicated and our lives are so tangled up and when one is trying to live in a straight way, somehow a curveball is thrown and splat it all goes. Its in this craziness and stupidness that I really wish I could hear God speak directly to me, in my ear straight down into my soul and I sit straight and sure for I know.

But God being God wouldn't do that, would He? Besides His Word speaks His heart loud and clear and if we all knew the bumps and lumps ahead on our journey through life, what would be the joy of living? There would be no angst, pain, anguish, joy, relief, happiness, contentment-all these emotions that tingle us into awareness and then what would be the fun in that?

First published 13th April 2010.


Well I've been thinking how we as humans say one thing, yet act in the total opposite way. Take me for example. I say I love all music, but I really am a snob, I can't stand rap and R & B. A friend says she's lonely and would take any guy's offer , as long as he's tall, light skinned and works in a bank. A man tells you he wants you desperately in his life but has absolutely no interest in you or your life.




The mouth says one

The heart another

If only the night would speak truth

I should be so lucky.



Words pull,

Actions push

If only the night would speak truth

I should be so lucky


Time passes

Failed hearts sigh

If only the night would speak truth

I bloody well would be so lucky!