Monday, 19 December 2011

My Fight with Fibromyalgia

I have promised some time ago that I was going to explain the condition I'm dealing with but was really hindered by ill health, the lack of a computer and time, but today my church The Bridge kindly let me use their computer in their office so I'll be putting all I know. Now, please note that it took the doctors about 2 years to diagnose me and I had previous underlying conditions like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and while I'm dealing with the condition now and making the best of it through Nutrition, if you want, you can go to the site and read up on it.

I started by being very tired for no good reason. Typically, I am a very strong person physically; I put it down to going to a Military School but uncharacteristically, I got very tired and went into almost shut down mode. Then shortly after that, I developed a severe headache that did like my head would split! As a typical Nigerian, I called home and started praying. My GP couldn't find anything wrong but I was in agony and because it came and went, some friends thought I put it on, just to get off work, but while I have my moments like everyone, the pain was very real and I was prescribed steroids but they didn't help.

Shortly after that, just when I thought it couldn't get worse, I started having severe pain in my joints and my body would heat up and I had some swellings and no matter what test I did  and believe me, I did them all, nothing could be found. The only explanation my GP could come up with was that it was a blood condition I inherited from my dad-Alpha thalessimia, however, it wasn't enough to create the type of symptoms I was displaying.

Well, I can tell you, it didn't get better. I went out so many times for healing prayers, I went to a Chinese pratitioner to seek help, some people started avoiding me, so many rumours were passed around about me. I was living in hell. I couldn't tell my folks back home the severity of my conditions because I didn't want to alarm them but I can tell you, there were times I thought death had to be better than what I was going through. I was in pain all the time, my bones ached, my nerves were super sensitive, I was tired all the time and I had no strength as before, sometimes, I struggled to even dress myself!

I love to cook but I couldn't even cook for myself. I remember one particular day where the pain was so bad, my body was on fire, I had a raging headache, I could barely make it out of bed to go to the loo. No one was around as I lived alone; and one thing Fibromyalgia does for you is it lets you know who your friends truly are, I was hungry but could do nothing about it until my friend and angel, Laura came over after work and she made me something. I had to sleep with my door open as I wasn't certain if I could get to the door.

Let me tell you one truth, there is no way one will be in that situation especially living alone and not fall into depression and it is dark and ugly, so I truly sympatize with anyone who is going through depression. However, after pressing on, I got a diagnosis early this year in February. Though it didn't take away the pain, at least it had a name and it wasn't some curse put on me because of my many sins ( someone actually told me this-to my face!) and once I knew what it was, I started learning about it and finding ways to deal with it.

I would love to say that I found a cure and its all gone and life is great but that is not true. It's a battle I face daily but I'm facing it. After my diagnosis, I informed my GP and my office and I started treatment. I joined a support group and a singing group at church because one of the ways to feel better is to do what you love as it releases happy hormones and I love to sing especially hymns. My symptoms have gotten worse in recent times as I am now falling more but I believe its just a blip and I'll overcome that. I have also started learning how to tailor my diet to help make life more manageable.

Now note, fibromyalgia is incurable according to the consultants and my entire lifestyle has been adjusted to accomodate, for now, this condition but I believe that one day I will be drug free and I will be able to be the strong Abi again. For now, I  try to live life to its fullest each day, I want to be the happiest, fun filled person people ever meet and I personally have good reason for that, I have a personal relationship with Christ and I've got a joy and peace that nothing can take away now. Yes I know I may have to get into that conversation when I meet the man but I know that he will see the spirited firecracker under the frail skin and fall in love with that. And yes! I will love hard, laugh heartly and be throughly delighted with life.

Do I think I am unfortunate, honestly , no, however I know, I solemnly have to consider this condition within my life but it has opened my eyes to the advantage of good health above money and frills. I enjoy life more, I'm more willing to try things, I am determined to finish whatever I start; it has taken me almost 2 and a half hours to type this as my hands hurt with nerve ache but you're reading it thanks to a massage ball because I finished it and if that is not a sign of one who will overcome then I don't know what is!

This is the life I'm living and what a cracking* life that is!

*cracking in Bolton parlance means brilliant

11 comments:

Adebusola Adeniyi said...

Am proud of u sis. We can do all things thru Christ who strenghtens us. It is well with u and bcos u ave christ u ave it all including life, no matter wat situation surrounds us "we ar more than conqueror".

Anonymous said...

Abi its with mixed emotions I read ur page. I can't imagine wat u av been going thru even though u would wave ur condition when asked pls accept my apologies as I shld av taken ur response on d phone more seriously. I will visit soon as In get into town. Just be sure dat our God is able n ever faithful, never give up. Our prayers r with u, pls let us know how we can help . Call u soon dear.

Anonymous said...

Sorry the above comment is from Debbie nee Ajobena

Anonymous said...

It's well my sister.When there is life there certainly HOPE.Will see you as soon as i'm back in the UK. Take care.......K (Germany)

Segun Lee-French said...

Well done sister for sharing this! I wish that I lived close to you. You know if ever you need anything, a lift home from Manchester, whatever , just call me, okay?

Segun

Monica Agbro said...

My dear Abi, the Lord is your strength. You are such an inspiration to me, even in pain you have managed to write such a powerful message. I cannot imagine what kind of pain you may be having but i know this for sure from my experience with patients, i understand. I will continue to have you in my prayers. Please continue to remain strong and be a fighter.

Melissa Dey Hasbrook said...

sorry to hear about the recent turn. your holistic approach inspired by faith sounds like the way to go, friend. as always, sending you love and light. ~mel

Omozo said...

Wow!

Ekundayo Samuel said...

You got all that is required-courage and determination to live.Relax your death is useles.I will continuously pray for you,God will hear and heal you.Pls,always read psalm 27 when you wake up and psalm 91 at bedtime.U will b celebrated.Be of good cheer.U are victorious.

Pepperz said...

Ekundee- thank you for your prayers. I truly appreciate everyone of you and your kindness to me. I'm very grateful. God bless

Julie Kitchener said...

Abi i have a lump in my throat reading this! it's so moving.
It puts things into perspective when you read what other people have to endure!.
May God bless and keep you hun! x