Wisps and Dreams

Going on the love theme, it is clear that the average person's mind is a bit lke a maze, hard to negotiate and you eventually get lost somewhere, somehow. Now I've been called both difficult and easy to please. I guess I have my days. There are so many rules to live by, either rules made by yourself, society or family. They are hard to break loose from and sometimes a dangerous noose by which we tie up ourselves and hereby prevent ourselves from moving-anywhere!

I'm not too certain where I'm going with this as I'm still trying to process it in my own head, but this is not the first time, I've been here, so there is a certain assurance that I'll walk this maze again.

First published 26th January 2007

It took me a while to decide what I was going to put in my journal, I was meant to write in it sometime ago but I kept on putting it aside ‘cos the flow hadn't come but then I thought (oh, oh) wait a minute, I’m a writer ke! (Yes ke!) Why not put up some of my work (so that you people who think 'does she think she's Wole Soyinka?' would know that I’m chasing his pen).

So here is a little something, something, a poem, written for that imaginary guy who warms my bed, loves my body (love handles, turkey wings, buddah belly and all, ah yes and corns) loves my mind and wants to spend his days and nights with me irrespective of my moods (ok, I know I’m asking for a lot but hey! a gal can dream)


'how my love is to be'


Not for me the clichés of the past

They taste bitter at the back of me throat

I don't want my romance in

The sweet by and by

I want my love, nay, I need my love, now!


I want to snatch my kisses

From his lips like apples from a tree

I want to look across a room and

Stamp my signature on him

Like a branded cow



I want to pull myself into

His arms like a whirlwind in a barn

To be wild, wicked and free

Not for me the clichés of the past

They taste really bitter at the back of me throat.


Instead my love ...


Draw me
Draw me into this union
Where your arms wrap
And I am safe

Where your lips smooth
And I am whole

Where your eyes seep
And I am reborn

Where your heart is
And I am loved

Draw me into this union
This sweet, wholesome union

my loneliness leaving into the night
I becoming 'some' of a body's
Yours .

Waiting for Him?

As we're in this 'lovely' month, I've been going over my previous writings and guess whay I found out? My poor taste hasn't changed! Maybe I shouldn't use the term poor taste, maybe I should use 'illusion'. My illusions still stay the same. Still the same desires, wants etc. Some might call it determination, others a lack of growth.
Call it what you will, I'm a bit downhearted by it cos I'm now thinking, if after 4 years, it hasn't come to pass maybe I need to 'reshuffle the cabinet'? Oh what do I know? Nothing apparently, but one thing I know is that there wil be a right time, place and person. There has to be or so many of us are doomed! Oh dear!
Don't listen  to the ramblings of a very tired old goat! Hold on to your dreams, they will happen.

First published 14th April 2007, here was my take on men, love and the whole shebang

I have found recently that I write about really elusive men, I mean men that don't exist for me, fine, handsome, intelligent, humorous men. Ok I lie, I have met some of these men but only in passing, either they are moving swiftly to other women or they are too absorbed in just how wonderful they are!


Yet I find myself making mental homage to these men that are only mine in a dream state where I reign supreme as 'The Desired' I have actually thought that if I were ever allowed to choose a name for myself it would be Desiree, the extra 'e' showing the extent of longing, but it would also show what strong narcissistic whims I enjoy.

Moving swiftly on, I look at many of my writings as a homage that that man that will never be and I don't feel bad about it anymore, I used to really feel angry when I was much younger (yeah!) That I couldn't find any man to fit that mould I had carved but now I'm not resigned, just accepting, that truth is really further from fiction, but...fiction is good, that is why so many millions of copies of 'Mills and Boon', 'Vogue' etc have sold, fiction is appealing and we would still get our noses stuck in it, just so that we can, for those 84 minutes (the longest it's taken me to finish one) just to indulge in that elevated reality.

I have taken to writing my own fiction, its familiar yet strange, shallow as a cup of water but deep enough to quench my thirst, it's mine so I can make it to be whatever I want and I do.
I'm rambling, so I'll just put in my latest offering to that man in the pages of my reverie and float away again.


HE


He is a dream

He is an easy dream

A delightful dream on a lazy day

Beautiful eyes let me lounge

I'll gladly lie eternal in this sleep

If you'll let me.


He is a tree

He is a graceful tree

A grand tree in a buoyant field

Wonderful hair let me roll

I'll gladly skirmish in your lush fragrant mane

If you'll let me.


He is an eagle

He is a majestic eagle

A strong eagle gliding in a blue sky

Graceful beast, let me fly

I'll gladly soar the winds with you

If you'll let me.


He is a river

He is a raging river

A strong river rushing out to face the sea

Splendid man, let me swim

I'll gladly be submerged under your will

If you'll let me.


He is a man

He is my man

A man worth writing slushy poetry for

Beautiful, wonderful, graceful, splendid man, let me be

I'll gladly move to whatever rhythm you beat

Just let me.

Something Interesting

First published on the 16th of April 2007

This whole love , lust debate is fantastic! I have so many people coming out of the woodworks (see it?) saying 'gal, the lust we shared is what's keeping the love going' well not everyone used the lust in the past tense but you get what was meant.

So I'll keep my next two entries focused on good ole LUST! enjoy!!


Desire

I, succulent surface of a pomegranate
want that primal greed
you, the eager teeth sinking within
now bite quick, fast, hard
take delight, indulge, enjoy
me, as I give, juices in your mouth.

and here is another

WARM

I don't know what goes
When you think
On in your mind
Of me
But I know what goes
When I think
On in my mind
Of you
Hands on your body
Lips on yours
Love me like I want
Hold me, Yes !
This is all about me and yours.